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Channel Surfing
Season 1, Episode 6
Channel Surfing
Air date November 2012
Running time 180 seconds


Episode Guide
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Channel Surfing is the fifth sketch in Season 1 Episode 6 of Studio C.

Summary (from YouTube)Edit

Channel surfing makes viewing TV much more interesting.

TranscriptEdit

{A very wide shot of James' house is shown, with a car driving pass by it & person with a blue backpack going the opposite direction. The camera cuts to James' living room, where he comes in & sits in his couch. Sitting next to him is a bag of chips, & on the table in front of him is a box of Krispy Kremes donuts & a remote control. Just as you think he's about to reach in for the bag of chips, James, with a sigh of exhaustion, actually pulls out what happens to be the main remote for the television from the bag. He turns on the television, & a point-of-view shot of him watching the television is shown. On the television, is a young woman in a kitchen mixing a bowl on a cooking channel.

CHEF: Now, what you need to do is stir that until it's about the consistency of a cloud--

{James changes the channel, with the new channel being a news report. The reporter's name (as shown on the banner) is Philip T. Kingsfield.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: I am pleased to announce NASA's new space program, which will send a family of rats--

{The channel is once again changed, this time to a soap opera with a married couple.}

HUSBAND: Yes, Veronica. It's true. Your ex-husband is still alive & living in Cairo. 

{The next channel is a fitness channel, with the program being called "Max to the Max". The training host, Max, & two back-up exercisers are doing some kind of side-reaching exercise.}

MAX: Fore & slide, two, three, four! And reach, two, three, four! And slide, two, three, four! 

{James changes the channel back to the cooking channel.}

CHEF: Now take a whisk & really beat--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

HUSBAND: --your arthritic grandmother. 

VERONICA: That's rich! Especially coming from the man who was raised by--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --feral monkeys, which contracted hepatitis. They, of course, had to be put down & now we're using the rats. One NASA authority said--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

HUSBAND: Sometimes... I cry in the shower.

VERONICA: Ha! You're not fooling anyone. All you've ever cared about is--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel. Max & the exercisers are doing some kind of glute stretch.}

MAX: --your glutes! You feeling a good burn in there? Now we're going to start working your thighs--

{The channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef is working on some chicken in a pan.}

CHEF: --& rub them down with some olive oil. That's nice! Now we're ready to put this in the oven, along with--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --taxpayers' dollars. The President wanted it to be absolutely clear that he has no--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel. Max & the exercisers are doing a leg exercise.}

MAX: --body hair! Some say yes, some say no! But don't be afraid to--

{The channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef has just put the chicken in the oven, & it appears to have already been cooked.}

CHEF: Let it envelope you in its aroma. 

{She shuts the oven door.}

CHEF: {continued} Now this recipe is simple. It calls for flour, eggs, &--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

VERONICA: --your immortal soul! And we've never heard from you! You never called, you never wrote, you never even--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --learned how to use a special rat toilet. They can navigate complex mazes, & most surprisingly--

{The channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef has what appears to be a cake mixer.}

CHEF: --they're gluten-free! And if you don't an electric mixer, you can just use--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

HUSBAND: --flaming passion! Have you no shame? It absolutely sickens me to think that--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel. Max has a jar in his hand while he & the exercisers are jogging in place.}

MAX: --this is 20 pounds of human fat in a jar! And if you think that you don't have the will-power to do it, don't despair because--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --very few have died in the process. The details of the program are vital to national security, so naturally the White House--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

VERONICA: --will slap that smug look off your face! 

{She slaps her husband's face just as the channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef seems to have burned her finger on the pan.}

CHEF: Ouch, that stings! I--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

HUSBAND: --love you. Ever since I heard you sing, your voice was like--

{The channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef is mixing the cake mix in the blender & smiles. The channel switches back to the fitness channel. Max & the exercisers are now doing a leg stretch.}

MAX: Isn't that soothing? It makes me want to--

HUSBAND: --question my will to live. All you can do is--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel.}

MAX: --give your spandex a little snap! Pretty soon, you're going to have a body as solid as--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --this nation's economy. In conclusion, we'd like to thank you all for coming to this press conference & we hope that you--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera.}

VERONICA: --burn for your sins. Don't you see? All I ever wanted was--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel. The exercisers are moving Max across an exercise ball.}

MAX: --the flexibility of a Russian gymnast! Just remember: there's nothing more attractive to the ladies than--

{The channel is switched back to the cooking channel. The chef has the chicken, all cooked & ready, & a cake covered in vanilla frosting.}

CHEF: --a chocolate sculpture of Winston Churchill covered in--

{The channel is switched back to the soap opera. Veronica flings a bunch of money at her husband's face.}

VERONICA: --dirty money! But it's over now. I'm never coming back. You can forward my mail to--

{The channel is switched back to the news report.}

PHILIP T. KINGSFIELD: --the cold heart of space. Thank you &--

{The channel is switched back to the fitness channel. Max & the exercisers are doing a side scissors exercise & waving good-bye.}

MAX: --see you in Skinny-Town! Population: you! 

{James turns off the television &, out of boredom, eats some chips & sighs.}

CastEdit

NotesEdit

  • The cooking channel, called Foodie Network, is a play on Food Network

External LinksEdit

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